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word of the year : 2017

fortune favors the BOLD.

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lets just clear the elephant in the room here and let it be known that it is totally acceptable to get around to your new year’s goals in the fourth month of said year. this is a judgment free zone. a safe space, if you will… so even though i committed to a word to focus on in january, writing about it now is pretty much the same thing as if i started on jan. 1 – hashtag samesies.

moving on.

i spent a week before the start of 2017 really trying to focus on some goals for the year – both for myself, personally, and for me and the kids together. not necessarily resolutions, but things we could work towards. i made several categories and listed things in each category that i wanted to improve on or accomplish in the coming year. lemme tell ya, making these lists became a little overwhelming – but i had specific things in mind that i felt needed prioritized. while perusing social media, i noticed that some of my friends also pick a Bible verse for the coming year – how had i not thought of that before?! i started looking in the Word to find a scripture fitting for this season of life, only instead of finding a specific verse… i found a specific word… BOLD.

whether it’s a meaningful journey of growth or ends in a super flaming dumpster fire, i’m going to try my best to follow this word that’s been placed on my heart this year – this is one of my struggles of being bold v. girl-please-no-don’t, this blog…

it oughta be good either way 😉

ten months in.

back in january, i claimed ‘bold’ as my word to focus on in 2017……. do you know how long ago january was??

i feel as though i have lacked in the boldness department, on many fronts – i still hesitate to put myself ‘out there’ in social situations and would rather be home in my yoga pants on the couch, i enrolled back in school but deferred until spring because i ‘wasn’t ready yet’, i have yet to stray from my hair color of 34 years, etc. etc. – procrastination has always been my jam.

it has taken ten months for me to fully embrace my ‘word of the year.’ and in all honesty, at this point, i just assumed i would roll it over for next year since i’ve not used it much… 2018 could be the year of bold, right?! and 2017 could be the year of blah. or stuck. or just sit there and wish things would happen and don’t really do anything about it, homeslice.

but today i unexpectedly stepped out in faith. today i was bold.

in a moment where a former version of myself would have had a full blown panic attack –  i instantly felt relieved by my decision. and not just relieved, but proud too.

who is this girl that makes a life altering decision with such confidence??

where the heck did she come from?!?!!!

now, that’s not to say i didn’t have about a 10min spell of hysterical crying to the point i couldn’t breathe – old habits die hard, yo. BUT i’ve read that it takes courage and strength to walk away from things not meant for you. and as much as i would like to take the credit for being so bold on this, i could feel my hand being held the whole time. i  didn’t walk out alone, you see. i didn’t make this decision on a whim. i had been thinking about it, praying about it, ignoring the nagging in my heart – hoping it would just go away & that i would be content again.

‘how the Lord showed up for me today’ is a title of a ‘note’ i have saved in my phone. i add to it when i see glimpses of God’s love and mercy and favor bestowed upon my life, so that i am reminded when i feel downtrodden, ashamed, unloved, unworthy, alone – He’s got me.

today’s note reads: He gave me a push when He knew i wouldn’t do it on my own. He lead me out with my chin up and a smile on my face. He closed a door for me when He saw me hesitating to do so. His plan is always better than mine anyways. 😉

i pray that i can live up to this blessing God has given me, that anything i do will be for His glory and of His will. i pray i do not take this chance for granted, that i use it to further His work and bring honor to His name.

He is forever faithful.